And now with the proliferation of online dating apps and websites, it can be even more daunting.

is difficult enough because of cultural and stereotypical challenges.

My friends and I often joke about this study: White guy says, "I love Asian women, you're so exotic and feminine!

east asian women dating disparity an prejudice race relations-3

This article is not defending those men who buy sex abroad or who assume their privilege grants them special access to "exotic" women, because what those men do is indefensible.

However, more often than not, I find the advances of fetishists to be less infuriating and more amusing -- because they are at seduction.

It's like saying I only want to date someone who is not attracted to people that look like me. You are your lover's kink, exist within their circle of desire, starting with gender, and getting more specific from there." (emphasis added) "In fact," he says, "there's no bad reason to love a person.

A person is not less enlightened if they're only attracted to their own gender, or Asian women, or skinny people, or latex, or feet.

cktionary writer Lena Chen on -- I, too, have had my fair share of run-ins with guys afflicted with the so-called "Yellow Fever." Similarly, I have developed a finely-tuned fetish radar. " and then subsequently name your favorite food dish from my hometown? But perhaps unlike many Asian females, I don't believe that non-Asian guys who like Asian women, even those white guys who predominantly date Asian women, are necessarily racist.

When I say "Chinese," you say, "from what province?

You can objectify someone without treating them like an object." Elliott points out that the complexities of desire, objectification and fetishization affect all of us, regardless of race, gender or sexuality.

So, with that in mind, perhaps the best question we as Asian women should be asking ourselves is this: And perhaps the dealbreaker is then not what race of girlfriends he has or how often he frequents the bubble tea shop, but rather he who assumes anything about our personality based on our physical attributes, or disregards our autonomy because of our anatomy.

There is a world of difference between the old, ignorant fetishist and the average guy I've met who dates Asian women.

In the areas of California where I grew up, where Asians range from 20 to 50% of the student population, a college-age male would have to make an active effort to exclude Asian females from their dating pool. But by constantly projecting this idea that men who specifically like Asian women are creepers, we risk making otherwise decent, respectable guys avoid dating Asian girls for fear of being labeled a creeper -- .

By promoting the "creepy [white] man with Asian fetish" stereotype in public discourse, we Asian women are shooting ourselves in the foot.